Note : This nite, I woke up briefly again to mumble, though this time I was apparently drenched in sweat. I don’t remember this at all. I also think it’s interesting the way both dreams involving former Utopia coworkers have also involved my Grandparents in some indirect manner.

I was in my parents’ kitchen, which was also some sort of business office. I was involved in some sort of business meeting, and I think my Grandparents might have been there. On my parent’s kitchen table there was a cheap, plastic-y table cloth and one of those big clunky office telephones. I think I was interviewing for a buying position at an independent clothing boutique. The men seemed to be pretty happy with how the meeting had gone, and began to leave. As this was happening, I was kind of getting flashes of visuals for simultaneously being at the intersection of where you can make a left from 25A onto the street where Flowerfield used to be. I could see the pond very vividly, as well as the Flowerfield sign with the rock. This did not stop the dream from progressing. In addition to maybe my Grandparents, there were definitely several unknown small children running around. I guess the implication was that the children were still potty-training, because there were several training toilets littered around the kitchen. I needed to use the bathroom and was afraid I would have to use one of those, until I remembered I was in my parents’ house and I knew where the bathroom was. (And no, I’m not just saying that to save myself some embarrassment. I was literally about to use the training toilet in the dream when I was like, “OH WAIT! I totally used to live here! There’s a real bathroom right over there, thank fucking goodness.”)

Somehow I was now over by where Gnarled Hollow intersects with 25A. I was close to where the side entrance to the strip mall is, which if you’re traveling North towards 25A is on your left. I was somehow simultaneously out on the street, but indoors somewhere as well. I don’t know how to properly explain this, but I believe I was indoors, but I could kind of see through the walls to where I was on the street. There, I saw Cait. At first I felt friendly towards her, but then I remembered how frustrated I had been working with her and got really mean. She tried to smile and be friendly, but I wouldn’t have it. I became irrationally mean to her. “Some guys called for you,” she tried to tell me. “They said something about getting test results back, and that something might be wrong. They made it sound like it was about your health..” “I DON’T HAVE TO BE NICE TO YOU ANYMORE, WE AREN’T WORKING TOGETHER AND I DON’T LIKE YOU AT ALL,” I declared, stomping away and trying not to give her the benefit of knowing that I was worried about what the test results could say. I remember her protesting and sounding concerned, but I was too focused on putting on a display of anger towards her to really care. I can remember somehow being inside, but somehow being outside as well, and walking from where Nicholas goes to the Stony Brook train station, Stony Brook University side, thinking about how the test results must say I have cancer..

I was in Smithtown, walking into the imaginary shop where the men I had interviewed with worked. The shop was a weird combination of nice things like button-ups and polos, as well as outdoorsy things like the brand Life is Good. I had the impression that I had gotten the job, and I was thinking to myself that if I was to take this job, I would want to be paid more than I was making at the doctor’s office I work at, and that I should ask for $15 an hour and settle for no less.

Note : Lately, I have apparently been crying out “Noooo!” in my sleep. I don’t say or do much else, but I’ve done this a couple nites in a row. I also did this last nite, but it was the first time I can remember having done this. I think I was trying to express that I was uncomfortable, but was still too asleep to articulate myself. Interestingly, this was also the first time in a while I’ve remembered a dream. And thus begins the “I’m still angry about Utopia” dreams, I guess.

The next thing I can remember is being at my parents’ house getting the dog back. I went into her bathroom upstairs and there was a very small bowl in the bathroom containing tiny golden retriever puppies. I like that kind of dog much better and contemplating taking one of those instead, but I knew it was shallow to just trade away a dog like that so I opted to keep my chihuahua. I walked away from the bathroom (memory loss) and when I came back, there were more dogs in the bathtub. Since I had last been there Joanna had acquired several more pets that she was adopting out to people, including a pug, a tan chihuahua, and a brown and white shiba inu. The golden retrievers were now much bigger, and able to jump around and play with the other puppies. I got confused and forgot whether or not my chihuahua was the tan or the black one. At first I was convinced it was the tan one, but eventually I remembered it was in fact the black one. I really wanted the shiba inu instead though. Her face was so cute it was almost cartoon-like, she was on the small side, and she was so friendly. I thought back to my experiences with Gaia and was wary. I wasn’t sure how Tom would respond to a shiba inu again..

Much of this next part of the dream was lost. I know it involved Joanna in some way, and some sort of war. I can somewhat recollect miniatures fighting the war, but I really have no idea of context or plot.

The dream then transitioned to a video of the online artist Dana Copes and another girl with long, loosely curly blonde hair who I cannot recall who she was, aside from being aware that she was also an online artist. The video was of them joking around and being silly after having cut Dana’s hair from being shoulder-length to a sort of modified, a-symmetrical bob. The perspective shifted and suddenly I was there with them. Dana had just finished dying her hair turquoise, and the three of us discussed hair dying and cutting techniques. We were in a house that was mostly made of wood, in the bathroom. Somehow, I was aware that we were simultaneously outside in the parking lot of Walt Whitman Mall. I don’t really understand how I was in both places at once. I believe we were going to go somewhere else, and Dana was saying she needed to go to the Community College to register but didn’t go alone. I offered to go with her, that my house was on the way so I could drop of my car, but that she would need to drive me home after wards. We were discussing the details of this when I woke up