Fish Flavoured Dreams

Recently I’ve been having very intense, realistic dreams that continue even after I’ve woken up. If I get up to go to the bathroom, persay, the dream will continue along and I will re-enter in a later spot. That is to say, my dreams have a sense of time. On top of that, I can fall back asleep for maybe 10 minutes as a minimum and dream. I really want to talk to someone about this, but I have no idea you go to about dreaming. I only haven’t been recording them out of laziness, but that needs to change.

Much happened before this.

I was at orientation. For some reason New Paltz decided that each year you went to college, you had to go to orientation. At least the room situatino was different. Our rooms were huge, and a suite consisted one of these larger rooms and having what we refer to as the “house” area as the suite’s common area. These suites were co-ed, as well. I was sharing a bed with my roomate, but not in a sexual way. We held hands and lay our heads close, like two friends in a shoujo manga. This lead to some later problems however.

Later, some teamates and I were visiting a stocking store (yes, a store entirely devoted to stockings) so that we could get a specific pair for our team. What the team was I’m not sure (I had woken up to use the bathroom), but I did know that I was the only girl there sans parents. Much like my real orientation. Anyway, as my roomate was trying on her stockings she noticed somethinga bout her head being very itchy. Her mother expressed concern for lice, and they left soon after.

More happened in between this that I can’t remember.

I went to the mall to have my head checked out for lice. The place I had been instructed to go looked like some kind of outdoors store. There were tents, camping gear, and puffy vests everywhere. But sure enough there was my roomate scurrying away with a confirmed case of lice. The interesting thing is the doctor was in fact my dentist, Dr. Nasti. This was a much sillier Dr. Nasti however. She was a lot more girlish, and took a lot of time interacting with her employees. Who were all young and had fantastic personalities. She told me I would be examined in a few minutes, so I went to the food court to get some Wendy’s. Upon my return I saw none other than Steve! He was there visiting a friend who worked there, and we chatted a while where we stood. I came to discover that Lora was Dr. Nasti’s assistant, which reassured me a lot. Suddenly the conversation turned and Dr. Nasti was getting very giddy over the idea of a very attractive pastor that would stop in occassionally. Not long after this who should wander up but said pastor. But here’s the interesting thing.

I recognized him from a previous dream! There have been many ocassion when I have recalled a place I was in and been able to navigate it in a more skilled fashion, but never have I been able to recognize an actually person. I can’t remember exactly the dream I had with him in it, all I know is it had to do with me being with my old babysitter, Pam. I asked him if he remembered me, bringing up Pam and trying to describe her. I have no idea what Pam’s last name is. “A short woman, kind of round?” the pastor asked. “Yes!” I said excitedly. His face lit up. “Oh hey, I remember you! Long time no see!” he said, holding up his hand for a high five. I returned the guesture, except when he caught my hand he pulled me into a fierce hug. Dr. Nasti almost shrieked with shock and jealousy. After a lively conversation the pastor and I exchanged fone numbers and he was gone.

Once I had left and Dr. Nasti had thrown a small hissy fit, Lora went and inspected my head for lice. Sure enough, I was infected as well. This led to a very long, unimportant zen-dialogue about disinfecting my lice. I won’t get into it, it was boring in my dream.
This still leaves me with this bizare interaction with the pastor. How was I able to recognize him? And him me? What in the world does this say about my dreaming? If anyone can offer ANY sort of advice (via AIM, e*mail, whatever!) I would really appreciate it. I wonder who you talk about dreams with..

I can’t remember a lot of my dream. I can remember a lot of unpleasantness that caused me to toss and turn violently in my sleep, desperately trying to escape the imagry. I can remember some kind of driving sequence along the thruway and being pursued by someone with bad intentions. My movements were so violent I made my new eyebrow piercing bleed.

However, the one section of this nitemare that I do remember is that Madden 2004 was rereleased and it was pure insanity all over again.

2.21.10 Note : This is my most memorable nitemare. I still recount this story to this day due to it’s pure hilarity. Only someone who has been working in retail too long would have this kind of nitemare.

We were going to see a Broadway show. My family and I, that is. No one had given me any warning before we left, so I was panicking. I was desperately trying to find a nice outfit to wear but having a bit of difficulty. I eventually slid into one of my EGA shirts and a skirt and was good to go. We got to the production where we were all seated at our own tables. Apparently my family had come into some money so we could afford expensive things. The play was some absurd post-modern thing, but Jamie Sakka (or however you spell her last name) was in it so I couldn’t help but be excited. But as the play wore on I found myself growing bored with it. It was incredabily stupid for all it’s pretencious babble. I could hear the other people with money making bizare comments about how clever it was. When it just wasn’t. We left.

Something was wrong with Merlin. He wouldn’t eat anything, wouldn’t drink anything. I tried to take him out for a walk, and all he would do is throw up. We drove him to the animal hospital while I wailed holding him. I knew Merlin was getting older, but he wasn’t old enough to be dying yet. But that’s exactly what he was doing. Dying in my arms.

At the funeral there was a great deal of people, dressed in black. There was Spook, dressed in full LoliGoth garb, with one hand on Merlin’s coffin. Even in my dream I was confused as to why she would come all the way from Ireland to my dog’s funeral.

This dreaming about my puppy’s demise resulted in me completely destroying my bed in a violent sleep fit.

Merlin was dead, and in the after math things didn’t seem to get much better. I was at Stephie’s haus having flashbacks to another seperate dream where I had a bizare affair with her dad. Which hadn’t happened in this dream universe. I got a fone call from Rob wanting to “just chat” where he mentioned doing something with his girl. I asked when they had gotten together, slightly hurt. He told me it was none of my business, and tried to change the topic. I grew angry, telling him it was my business because if he had been cheating on her with me it was really unfair to me. That if I had known that I never would have touched him. I kept asking, he kept avoiding. I was getting angrier and angrier.
Insert alarm clock here.

To give a context to this dream, I have to mention something that occured when I was awake. I was hanging out with a friend, J.C. last nite and he told me about a movie he had seen in which there was a Jesus figure and a Judas figure that are born every generation. They don’t know it, only that they have “powers” and they each try and kill one another. Once one of these two dies, all the memories come flooding back to the one still living. Interesting concept.

My subconscious seemed to think so as well.

I was going out clubbing with a group of friends. I had finally cut up that Nintendo shirt of mine and we looked good. They weren’t anyone I know in real life, but there was a skinny, gangly sort of boy who I was closer to in the group. We were taking the subway to this place, when suddenly these men in uniforms stormed the train. I know immediately they’ve come to kill me, but I’m not sure why. I grab the friend’s hand and run.

Jump.

Somehow I’ve come in legion with a group of people that are trying to protect me, the Mary figure. I’m pregnant in an invisible way. The idea of a baby sleeps inside me, waiting for a certain hour on a certain day for my stommach to balloon out and Jesus to come out screaming and crying, then grow just as suddenly into a man. There have been prophecies aboutt his for years. I’m petrified. I’m petrified for my life, the life of Roger (who has only been dubbed that because he reminds me of the character in His Dark Materials), I’m worried about the life of my child, I’m worried about being pregnant and dying. The time is drawing near and the Judas family is desperately trying to eliminate the threat before it even appears. I complain that I don’t even believe in God. Roger stays with me, desperately trying to protect me. Someone within the Jesus family is a betrayer. It’s minutes before the birth. He tried to lure me somewhere that isn’t safe, and somehow I know. I grab Roger’s hand and run. They appear with guns and nearly kill us, but we find sactuary once more. My stommach begins to grow at an alarming rate. I’m screaming I’m crying and..

It’s done.
It’s years later, and I’m pregnant for real. Someone’s baby is taking shape inside me, and I’ve only just found out. I’m food shopping, minding my own business when they grab me. Two men hold me down and give me a needle with a drug to make me unconscious. This only allows me to leave my body and see every terrible second as the woman aborts my child that I barely had. A minute and it’s gone.

I wake up what only can be hours later. I scream The Bride’s scream. Then I realize what’s going on. There’s more to this prophecy that we never imagined. Judas is trying to eliminate me again. The not-so-virgin Emily and her fatherless Jesus baby are in danger.

I get in my car and drive, warning all my friends of something bad. It’s nite by time I get to Rob’s haus. He has some sort of harem of drunken girls playing in his driveway. They’re drawing hopscotch boards with chalk, they’re lying on the hard blackness stroking eachother. They’re spinning, giggling, drunk and confused. I recognize a few from high school. I ask her where Rob is, and she points in through the garage to tell me he’s sleeping. I walk in and attempt to gently wake up. But apparently he was only faking because his eyes fly open and he pulls me to him in a kiss. I give him a birthday gift and he smiles his girl charmer smile. I begin to warn him but he’s too occupied with trying to undress me. I’m begining to get desperate, almost hysterical as he shushes me gently and kisses my shoulder.

The alarm clock radio screams its’ static hiss.

I was in some sort of summer town. I’m not sure what I was doing there, but I was living in a haus with a bunch of other people. One of them being Macaulay Culkin, who was in fact the owner of the haus. It reminded me of the kind of place you’d live in as a college student. I had a bedroom with my own bathroom attached. I think James and his family lived there too. It was a bizare living situation, that’s for sure.

Macaulay and I became fast friends, and we began flirting with eachother shortly after. He told me about what his love life was like, being a celebrity and all. He looked sad as he told me of his failed romances, reminding me that just because you’re famous you don’t always get what you what. Macaulay isn’t very attractive at all, but I could feel myself falling for him. It was all very strange and I tried desperately to deny it.

A group of us went to some sort of school fundraiser. Steve (former drummer of Kirei) included. I wandered into this thrift store room, which was called “The J*Rockstar Clothing Store.” Apparently the kids who went to the school were very into Japan at the time. I ran around the store, finding bunches of gothed out clothing I wanted to buy. I had no money, but Steve told me he would take care of me. I found skirts, pants, shirts that of course I could only dream off. I couldn’t wait to try them on.

(I believe this comes from watching Saved! right before I go to sleep. At least the romance part.)

I was in a mall. It wasn’t the Smithaven mall, but I knew it like the back of my hand. I was walking around it near closing time, attempting to find a third job. I was turning in applications in a bank, then I began to leave. I found Tom, and he pulled me tightly into his arms, the way he did when we first saw eachother each time we hung out. At first I thought he was just being nice, but then he kissed the top of my head. I asked him what he was doing. I asked him why, when I thought he didn’t want this with me. He didn’t say anything as he tilted my chin up with his hand. I didn’t object when he kissed me.

I was walking around the parking lot with a girl. We were holding hands and being incredably flirtatious. I ended up sitting on her lap and making out with her. Things started getting serious, and her hands moved to my breasts. Confused since I had never done anything like it before, I brought my hands to hers. Apparently I wasn’t doing a very good job because she asked, “Have you ever groped someone before?” I couldn’t hear her so I made her repeat the question. She then explained to me what I should be doing, and I complied. That’s when an older man came over to where we were sitting, since we were out in the open. I noticed her friend, and the three of us giggled. “Oh shit!” the girl said, and I felt a burst of wetness in my hand. She was lactating, for who knows what reason. There was no avoiding it, the man saw. The three of us took off at a run, screaming and laughing.

I went in a different direction than the other two girls, weaving my way around until I found Tom. He pulled me close and I stayed content in his arms while we talked with his friends. The girls wandered up. I looked at her as she looked back at me. Tom kissed my check, and I looked away to hide in his shoulder.

There was some sort of music festival going on..a long string of concerts with really good bands. I was there with someone, but Matthew, Shana, and Jaime were also coming to be there, so I was really excited. We were sitting in some USDANlike ampetheatre, and I kept looking around for them. Finally I targeted all three of them. Once the current thing was done, I jumped up to find Matthew. I lost him in the crowd though, and ran into Shana instead. I pounced on her for a hug, then turned to Jaime. I introduced himself and he said a shy hello, then I hugged him too. Shana told me Matthew had gone out front to wait for me, so I dashed out. I ran along the side of the building, desperately looking for him. There he was with a group of goths, smoking of all things! Since he was smoking I sort of wondered if it was him as I pounced on him. I took the cigarrette and stole a drag, then flung it away as we clung to eachother. He spun me around in a circle, and I laughed as someone else said, “Hey Matthew, I thought you don’t drink or smoke.” “I don’t,” he said as he burried his face in my hair. I aligned myself so that I was clinging to his arm, positively grinning.

I could feel myself slipping back into consciousness. It wasn’t Matthew’s arm I was clinging to, it was Mongoose. NO NO NO NO! I screamed. LET ME SLEEP LET ME SLEEP LET ME SLEEP PLEASE DON’T LET THIS DREAM END.

I drifted back, and I was opening for Mindless Self Indulgence. I was involved in some bad viola duet, kind of posing as a cheap Rasputina. The girl I was playing with sucked though, and we ran out of material fast. The crowd seemed to like my quirkiness, so I stayed up there for a bit. I started spitting out random pieces of music I’ve memorized over the years, and this wowed the crowd for some reason. Finally my time to be on stage was done with, so I closed my act and walked off. As I walked to my dressing room, I saw something that resembled the Chorus room in Ward Melville and stopped. Mister Gelfer was inside. “Gelfer?” I asked incredulously. “They aren’t ready yet!” “What?” I asked again, so confused. “MSI isn’t ready yet, you have to go back out.

By that time the crowd was all anxious for MSI. The lights were dimmed and the strobe light was flickering, and the fans were on the verge of throwing themselves into a mosh. I wandered back out. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m not them!” I expected to be killed. The people settled down though. I told them MSI wasn’t ready yet so they were stuck with me for a bit longer. They cheered. I sang a couple songs and finally MSI was ready. I scurried away to find Matthew backstage. He was waiting for me in the chorus room, his back up against the wall. I curled my fingers into his and we kissed..and we raced out to find our seats.

Matthew was the one who had bought our tickets, and damn had he done good. We were in the third row right by the isle, which had a lot of room for Jimmy to come down and mess with the crowd. He sang a song, then all of a sudden this giant crowd started to file in. So he waited for them to all find his seats. Some boy behind us started singing a parody version of Like a Virgin, and Jimmy heard him. He jumped down to learn the lyrics to the song, and for some reason Blind Guardian’s Mr. Sandman started playing. So I started singing along, serenading Matthew. Jimmy noticed and came over. “Aww! She knows all the words!” he said, petting me. I stood on my chair so I was the same height as him, and took his face in my hands. I sang the song to him and he smiled at me gleefully. When it switched to the harder, metal part I jumped from the seat and starting moshing in a circle around him. The crowd cheered and Jimmy looked delighted. He was taking my hand, he was bringing me up on stage..

I woke up hating myself for ever, ever waking up.

My mother and I were fighting for some reason, it wasn’t really important. But the main thing was she wouldn’t leave my room. I was sitting on my bed and she was standing by the door, very stand offish. I asked her to just go so we could both calm down, and we’d talk about this later. She refused. The interesting thing about it all was that my furniture was in all it’s old positions, so my bed was right by the car. At that moment, Matt called my cell. “Matthew Higgens~” I sang, like I usually do. “Nope, it’s Robbioto,” came the response. “Oh, hey. What’s up?” “I need to talk to you,” he said almost hesitantly. I could already guess where this where this was going. “Hold on a sec.” I again asked my mom to leave the room, saying this was private. She sat down on the floor, starring at my dresser. I sighed and walked away from her. “What’s up Rob?” That’s when my service started getting bad. What he was saying was flickering in and out. I managed to catch a line of “..I mean I really lik…a lot…but I can’t do…”
“Rob, I can’t hear you. Let me call you back from my haus fone, okay?” I hung up and noticed my mom had now invited Laura into my room. “Would the two of you please leave? This is kind of personal.” Laura moved to leave, but my mom stopped her. I called Rob again and tried to talk to him again. That’s when my mom started reading something. One of the letters in my box of letters. It was one that doesn’t really exist, but it was from Jon Sills. She handed it to Laura. “Hold on again Rob..” I grabbed the letter away from Laura. “Is my life a soap opera?” I asked her. Slightly confused, she said no. “Then stop watching it like it’s one. Please get out.” Finally they two of them walked out. “Rob..Rob??” There was silence on the other line. I could only assume he had heard that comment and thought I was saying it to him. I tried calling back, but it went straight to voice mail. Frustrated, I felt tears coming to my eyes. Then I turned and there were was my mom, half in half out of the door way. “It’s now okay for me to sit here!” she declared. “So I can take care of Nimmy!” “FINE! FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY!” I closed the door over her knees. “THEN THIS OKAY TOO RIGHT?! THIS IS OKAY!! SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW OKAY?? JUST GO AWAY AND SHUT UP!!”

The next thing I remember is being at a sort of amusement part. Rob’s face was so close to mine, I could smell the sweat and sun from working that’s now a part of his skin. I could see the faint wrinkles as a result of all the sun he gets. I could feel the roughness of it on the tip of my nose, as I moved my cheek close to him.

After that, I can remember running around the carnival with John. It was like some sort of bizare video game, and as it shut down we went onto the sofa to make out and I guess go further than that. I was grossed out by his kissing, but I kept going. I don’t know why. Three girls, violin player came in the room. They were being terribly arrogant and we just wanted them to leave. Suddenly I wondered when Rob had turned into John.

Drew’s mother decided she didn’t like me. She told him that she didn’t want me staying over her haus on the weekends anymore, and really didn’t want me around. I was crushed. We went to my haus instead, and for some reason Drew decided he wanted to take a bath. He went into my parent’s bathtub, and jumped in with his clothes still on. He stripped him off while he was in there, and I began to beg him for sex. We went through all the usual foreplay..then my mother came home. I closed the door quickly and locked it, telling her she couldn’t come in. She said okay. My mind began to race..how was I going to explain a damp Drew and me in a schoolgirl outfit locked in her bathroom? Drew didn’t seem to care. He splashed around and masturbated while I worried and worried..

Jump to us being back upstate. I had a car, not Bunbury but some little Honda. Drew lived in a crappy looking appartment complex up on a hill. As I walked from the parking lot around to his front door, I saw what looked like a giant satelite falling from the sky. I gazed at it as it drifted slowly downwards..then exploded. The explosion was massive, and threw me to the ground. I just barely dodged balls of fire that launched at me. I stood up and saw a giant flame in the forest not too far away from me. Mike came up behind me. “Did you see that?!” I asked. He did, but didn’t seem to care too much. I looked up and saw a trailer on fire. People were hurrying out of it. “We should go help them!” I ran up the hill towards them, but my limbs felt like they were moving in slow motion. When I got to the family, they thanked me for my concern but told me they were fine. I asked them what they would do now that the trailer was gone. The mother explained to me that they were doing..something..for NASCAR. She paused. Realization dawned on me. “Hey, you’re that family on that tv show right? Does that mean this is being filmed?” “No,” she said with a pained look on her face, but I knew it was. I told her if she needed anything to call me, and gave her my cell number. Then scurried up the stairs to Drew’s appartment.

It wasn’t the LH, that’s for sure. It looked like my Grandpa’s old appartment. I said hello to his mother, but she pretty much ignored me. So did Drew. He didn’t even greet myself and Mike, he just stayed in his room and played Generals..He looked so much younger, so much skinner. It was unnerving.
Note : The bathroom Drew was in at my haus was the old bathroom, before we had it remodeled. There’s no longer a bathtub in my parent’s room.

There was a rain storm. There were a couple other things that were going on, but this is what stands in the most. As I held the door open, I medium sized hedgehog scurried in. Merlin caught sight of it and chased it back out again, but I pushed him to the side. I ran and found some balogna, which hedgehogs really don’t like but in the dream they did, and used that to coax it back inside. Then coax it into a tuperware container. Once she came back inside I knew she was female. I put the top of the container lightly on, not sealing it but merely placing it there so she couldn’t get out. I brought her up to my room and went into the garage to look for the aquarium, knowing I’d have to spend a lot of time with my new baby to get her to trust me.