Fish Flavoured Dreams

I was still living in New York supposedly, but where I was living had the appearance of the pine barrens in New Jersey. Katie had already passed away in my dream, however I had very strong memories of interactions with her that never happened. Instead of my actual apartment, my living space reflected that of my parents’ basement** minus the bedroom I had when I lived down there. In these memories, Katie and I had been making plans to move in together as roomates. She was spending a lot of time on my computer (which had the physical shape of my father’s desktop,) mostly playing video games but for some reason I was under the impression she had several personal documents stashed around in password-protected areas of the computer.

I had another friend come over who supposedly knew enough about Katie to figure out where she had stashed these files as well as break the computers. While in the dream I was aware that this was not Katie, upon waking up I realized that this second girl actually possessed Katie’s physical form. This girl and I talked about memories of Katie, about our plans for living together, and musings over what we thought the files might be.

**This is quite possibly the first time I’ve ever had a dream that took place in the basement of my parents’ house as where I lived. I usually dream about my childhood bedroom on the second floor when I dream of a living space in their house.

Part of the dream involved me still working at Utopia, but as in real life I walked out. I believe I may have still been living at my parents house because I had my old Windstar van Bunbury, and inside were several items I was supposed to bring to the Centereach store. Due to my quitting, I wasn’t sure if I was going to. I can vaguely remember having spoke with Mark and Steiny, though nothing solid. I began to open the boxes of what mostly appeared to be really wacky, gothy shoes. They all had very tall, chunky heels and were a couple sizes too big for me, but I decided to put them on and clunk around anyway. I hid the shoes under my parents’ kitchen table, and began putting them on. One was a pair of open-toed heels with boot-like extensions going up my leg that sort of curved outwards and criss-crossed behind me, creating a sort of wing-like effect. These were probably my favourites, and I clomped around in them wondering if I would ever find a costuming reason to wear them, since I rarely attend events that I could wear them to. There was another, simpler, open-toed pair that not only could I walk in, but I could have probably gotten away with wearing to formal events. The implication was that Val had special-ordered them for herself only, even though they probably would have been the only pair that people would have actually bought. I found something wrong with them, though I can’t remember what it was..

The next thing I can remember is being at the playground at Minnesauke. All of the grass had been removed and replaced with sand, which I guessed was to make it so if children fell it wouldn’t hurt so bad. The sand went right up to against the trees. While the sand made the playground resemble some sort of alien planet, and made the sky look so unbelievably blue I didn’t really like it. The sand took all of the ability for imagination of adventure out of the playground and made it feel very oppressive. I walked around, exploring. The sand was very warm, though not entirely hot.

I was on The Daily Show. There was a guest, maybe someone like Robert Downey Jr. (I went to sleep with Iron Man playing) holding John Stewart in a head-lock while John giggled uncontrollably. I ran around the set. John told someone to “turn the scene off” and the usual set that we associate with The Daily Show disappeared, desk included, to reveal that John and the other guest were just standing in front of a green screen a la The Soup. I ran up to their legs and suddenly realized how small I was. I wasn’t really taller than their knees.

Note : This dream as a whole was very long and involved, though I really only remember these small parts. I don’t even think this is in order, but this is the order that I remembered these scenes so it’s the best I can do.

Laura and I were in my Grandparents’ Montauk house, along with a third girl who doesn’t actually exist. For context, the way the house is layed out is it is more or less open, with all the rooms connecting to one another with the bathroom as the centre. In the dream the house still had this layout, but was distinctly circular instead of being rectangular like it actually is. I had the impression from the dream that we weren’t supposed to be there, and despite the fact that it was beautiful, warm, and sunny I was very paranoid about the curtains to the windows being left open for fear of people looking inside and seeing that we were there. Everything was fine between Laura and I, and we were sitting on the sofa more-or-less cuddling one another, trying to talk but the third girl kept interrupting us. She had very short hair in kind of a “mom haircut”, and was wearing men’s jeans with a wife beater; a stereotypical dyke. She was going to take a shower and kept popping out of the bathroom in various states of undress and I can only assume she was trying to get our attention. I got annoyed and even more paranoid about being seen, and ran into my Grandparents’ bedroom out of paranoia and frustration. Inside I noticed that their bedroom was even more cramped than usual due to what looked like a doll bed as well as a slightly larger child’s bed also being in the room in addition to my Grandparent’s large brass bed. I figured out that the small beds must be so they could have my young cousin Sarah sleep in the same room as them, and which made me rage even more.

Note : This nite, I woke up briefly again to mumble, though this time I was apparently drenched in sweat. I don’t remember this at all. I also think it’s interesting the way both dreams involving former Utopia coworkers have also involved my Grandparents in some indirect manner.

Before all of this, I have some vague memories of driving back from somewhere out east. I don’t know if it was from Montauk or Orient Point, but I can remember driving past foliage, fields, and bright blue sky.

I was in my parents’ kitchen, which was also some sort of business office. I was involved in some sort of business meeting, and I think my Grandparents might have been there. On my parent’s kitchen table there was a cheap, plastic-y table cloth and one of those big clunky office telephones. I think I was interviewing for a buying position at an independent clothing boutique. The men seemed to be pretty happy with how the meeting had gone, and began to leave. As this was happening, I was kind of getting flashes of visuals for simultaneously being at the intersection of where you can make a left from 25A onto the street where Flowerfield used to be. I could see the pond very vividly, as well as the Flowerfield sign with the rock. This did not stop the dream from progressing. In addition to maybe my Grandparents, there were definitely several unknown small children running around. I guess the implication was that the children were still potty-training, because there were several training toilets littered around the kitchen. I needed to use the bathroom and was afraid I would have to use one of those, until I remembered I was in my parents’ house and I knew where the bathroom was. (And no, I’m not just saying that to save myself some embarrassment. I was literally about to use the training toilet in the dream when I was like, “OH WAIT! I totally used to live here! There’s a real bathroom right over there, thank fucking goodness.”)

Somehow I was now over by where Gnarled Hollow intersects with 25A. I was close to where the side entrance to the strip mall is, which if you’re traveling North towards 25A is on your left. I was somehow simultaneously out on the street, but indoors somewhere as well. I don’t know how to properly explain this, but I believe I was indoors, but I could kind of see through the walls to where I was on the street. There, I saw Cait. At first I felt friendly towards her, but then I remembered how frustrated I had been working with her and got really mean. She tried to smile and be friendly, but I wouldn’t have it. I became irrationally mean to her. “Some guys called for you,” she tried to tell me. “They said something about getting test results back, and that something might be wrong. They made it sound like it was about your health..” “I DON’T HAVE TO BE NICE TO YOU ANYMORE, WE AREN’T WORKING TOGETHER AND I DON’T LIKE YOU AT ALL,” I declared, stomping away and trying not to give her the benefit of knowing that I was worried about what the test results could say. I remember her protesting and sounding concerned, but I was too focused on putting on a display of anger towards her to really care. I can remember somehow being inside, but somehow being outside as well, and walking from where Nicholas goes to the Stony Brook train station, Stony Brook University side, thinking about how the test results must say I have cancer..

I was in Smithtown, walking into the imaginary shop where the men I had interviewed with worked. The shop was a weird combination of nice things like button-ups and polos, as well as outdoorsy things like the brand Life is Good. I had the impression that I had gotten the job, and I was thinking to myself that if I was to take this job, I would want to be paid more than I was making at the doctor’s office I work at, and that I should ask for $15 an hour and settle for no less.

Note : Lately, I have apparently been crying out “Noooo!” in my sleep. I don’t say or do much else, but I’ve done this a couple nites in a row. I also did this last nite, but it was the first time I can remember having done this. I think I was trying to express that I was uncomfortable, but was still too asleep to articulate myself. Interestingly, this was also the first time in a while I’ve remembered a dream. And thus begins the “I’m still angry about Utopia” dreams, I guess.

I finally finished bringing all of the old blog’s dreams into this one! What a relief! The finishing touches on this blog will be updating all the tags, locations page, character page, and a new layout. That still sounds like a lot, now that I’ve written it out.

Lately I haven’t been remembering too many dreams. If I do remember them, it’ll only be a very small piece of information so I haven’t really thought it was worth it to write it down. For lack of anything better, I think I’m going to start recording them from now on.

I was at the original ESK in some sort of very beginners class. Interestingly, L was there also. I think it was supposed to be like our first day of classes, and we were going over how to do throws. I was partnered with two small children, which I assumed had to do with the fact that I had been in charge of the little kids classes when I taught ten years ago. I gently worked on showing them how to do throws, down on my knees so I would be the same height as them. Sensei Jimmy was surprisingly respectful of my ability, and later used me to do a kata example to show the kinds of things you would eventually learn.

I was driving somewhere with some sort of purpose (I was going somewhere specific but can no longer remember the details) when I witnessed a car accident. I didn’t see how the two cars collided, but I did see the big, dark Jeep flip itself and the other car rebound off of it. I quickly pulled over (and noticed I was driving my old red Toyota, a car I haven’t had since July or so) and ran to help the person in the Jeep out of the cabin. The window evaporated, and I was able to see that the person was perfectly fine, not even a scratched. He told me he could get himself out without help and wiggled out of the window. I called an ambulance anyway. The two other people in the other car were his friends, and it turned we all knew each other (I can’t remember the details on these people anymore). I told the Jeep guy I had already called the ambulance, but since I didn’t see the accident happen I didn’t tell him any of the details. “What are you going to tell them?” I asked. “I mean, it’s obviously one of your faults..” “I’m just going to tell them that somethingsomethingsomething,” he said. Interestingly, I can’t remember his solution to this. The gist of it was that he was going to lie so that neither he nor his friends got in trouble, especially since no one was hurt. I shrugged and said okay. I hadn’t seen it happen anyway, so it wasn’t like there was anything I could do.

The next part of the dream I can remember involved me going to some sort of college, and being some sort of elite student in an art class. I was picking out what to wear. I was wearing a skirt I own in real life, and was trying to chose a shirt to wear. Most of my choices weren’t shirts I actually own in consciousness. After choosing a shirt and changing my mind, I settled on a shirt that doesn’t actually exist from Threadless. The shirt was brown, and featured some sort of flames engulfing the kanji for “I will devour  you” with two sticks crossed underneath the kanji. I had wanted to wear something that made me look cute, but simultaneously intimidating. I ran to class, but then remembered about a shirt with tons of little butcher’s knives all over it that I wish I had worn instead (this is a shirt that actually exists, we carried it in Utopia and I had really wanted it). I got to class and sat in my chair next to a cute guy. I started to flirt with him by using excessive sarcasm, and he was enjoying it. We were kind of going back and forth, and he was expressing some nervousness about the class since it was his first art class and he knew the teacher was supposed to be rough. The teacher walked around the room giving us our first assignment, some sort of painting.

I woke up, and discovered I had overslept.

NOTE : A couple of weeks ago on my way to work, I saw the after-effects of a car accident. The accident had happened maybe seconds before I had pulled up. There was some sort of SUV that had been flipped, and a smaller car that was completely totaled. There had be a young woman with long dark hair driving the smaller car, and people were already clustered around the SUV to help the driver. From my car, I could see that the SUV driver was still conscious and they were trying to figure out how to safely get him out. As I sat their at the traffic light wondering what to do, the ambulance arrived.

I was with a guy and a girl. The guy was on the tall side and very muscular, not the kind of person I’m normally attracted to. I can’t remember any distinguishing features for the girl. However, the main point was that we were in a three-person relationship together. This had been established earlier in the dream, and was now the norm. It was evening, and the three of us were walking around town. I think we had already eaten and were just looking for something to do. I can vaguely recall having spoken with a mysterious old man (lolcliche) who had said something vaguely foreboding to us that we were trying to ignore.

Town was a series of tall, narrow buildings very close together on a narrow, cobblestone street. The roads were very hilly in nature, and somewhat winding. Where we were walking was some sort of performance district. There were stages set up in front of buildings that I think were theatres. Some stages were Disney themed, and we walked along looking at them. I found one that was V for Vendetta themed, and was charmed by the elegant, dancing V with thick eyeliner on under his mask. I was completely captivated by him, and let him lead me around to the point where we were almost dancing with each other..

The next part of the dream I can clearly remember was driving along with Noodle in the car. I pulled over at Brenner’s Farm for no reason I can recall. The more open sort of grassy field (formerly home to horses) no longer had it’s regular, quaint fence and had a tall, chain-link fence instead. Inside I was able to see two beautiful chocolate labs, just hanging out and being happy. I realized that the fence was actually open and did my best to get the dogs’ attention. One of them figured out how to get out of the area and ran up to me, happy and wanting attention. I played with the dog and began to wander towards the barn. On my way there, I found a sort of area filled with pet supplies. I guess at some point the Brenners had started a sort of animal flea market. I walked around looking at what they had, and met Farmer Brenner. He was a tall, older man who had smoked too much and was a little mean, but we got along and I liked him. He began showing me all the different animals, including a whole bunch of birds with amazing personalities. All the birds were very friendly and affectionate, and I wanted so badly to be able to take one home with me. But I knew I didn’t have enough time for a bird, so it was very difficult for me not to bring one home. Noodle was there with me suddenly, but he was being very good. He was a little overwhelmed by everything I guess, and was just sitting under a table. He also looked much bigger and older than he is, and had Nimmy’s facial structure a little more. I kept looking around and found a cat carrier that was only $10, and big enough for him. It was sort of cage-like in that it had bars, but was completely open so the cat inside would be able to see what was going on. The blue plastic was kind of squishy too, and I decided to buy it. I put it down and Noodle just walked calmly in, and I shut the door behind him. I carried Noodle in the carrier around, looking at the large and beautiful fish supplies. I was hoping to find more animals for sale to look at, but there didn’t seem to be any. I found some fish, and was looking at those..

I woke up.

Josh and I were on a boat with three other people, only one of whom was a girl. The boat was some sort of fishing boat, with a sort of tent covering the controls but the rest of the boat was open and flat. The guards on the sides stopped below the knee, so it was a little on the dangerous side. Josh and I had brought our cameras together because we intended to shoot while we were out on the sea. As the boat left the docks, Josh began to brag to me that he could control the weather and decided to show me. As I watched, the sky transformed from a bright, cheerful blue to muted and grey. Dark clouds swelled in from the edges of the horizon, dark and even darker still as they poured in. It apparently had not occurred to Josh that storms are not a good thing when you’re out on open water, and it was already too late by time the winds had made the waves go wild around us. Josh apparently could not fix the storm, despite his best efforts. We all did our best to stay on the boat and protect our cameras as we were thrown around in the water. I had a vague recollection of luggage we had at the back of the boat by the motor, but thought more about staying on.

When the storm cleared up, somehow the boat had been torn up the middle but it was still in one piece. The boat was filled with water up to our ankles, but we weren’t sinking. Then we realized all of our luggage, as well as mine and Josh’s camera equipment, was floating in a pile in the water. We had to get it back! Josh and I jumped into the water, and I raised my camera above my head to try and keep it safe. Josh’s was hanging in the water. I decided that it must be because he had a higher-end model, so it must be water resistant. We began to try to get our stuff back..

I woke up.

There was a lot to this dream, but I remember very little.

I was watching the “current season” of America’s Next Top Model. “Current season” is in quotes due to the fact that I haven’t actually seen the current season, so I was making the cast up. One of the girls was commenting on how crazy Tyra is when she’s on camera, and confessing that Tyra is actually incredibly nervous about being on camera and so she does crack before they film to compensate, hence her insanity on camera. The girl was saying that Tyra is actually very calm and sweet when she’s not on camera. As the girl said this the scene changed so that she was voicing over the camera man trying to sneak up on Tyra to show her being sweet and normal, but the second Tyra noticed the camera she started acting insane again.

Note : THIS IS A DREAM. I am not trying to insinuate that Tyra Banks actually does crack. None of these events are real, and were created by my subconscious.